Week 39: Too Fat to Fly

I know what  you are thinking. Something along the lines of "Honey, hang it up, you are pregnant. Get off the weight, get off the Hagen Daaz and get ready to give birth. But that's not the case. I gave up any aspirations of flying when I waxed my skis for storage or hung up my mountain bike. That was soooo two trimesters ago.

It's Petunia I'm worried about.For a duck who brushed with death she seems to be thriving. In fact, I think she has become fat. Too fat to fly. Seriously, she looks full grown but she does not fly. She flaps her wings but she does not fly. I do not think she needs another duck to teach her how. She taught herself how to swim. Flying should be instinctual as well.

I know her water is filthy, but she likes it that way I swear!

Apparently she has it good here. A toddler pool, a garden, a hutch and bowls full duck/hen feed with no competition. It's hard to say if she likes it here, she's a duck. Always indignant, beeping at you with annoyance.

What other lucky duck gets such a nice hutch to sleep in at night?

She really only comes around and acts a little attached and loving when her food bowl is empty. Maybe she could survive in the wild, but I'm not sure she could survive in a park. She turns up her beak at bread in quite a snotty manner. I've tried high protein bread, honey white bakery bread and even gluten free bread. Petunia is not interested.

Apparently, she thinks she is above a dog crate and would rather sleep inside.

I guess you could blame the parents in this situation just like with childhood obesity. Maybe we've overfed her. I will have you know I drove all the way to Del Mar to get her hormone free feed. That's got to be like shopping from Wholefoods. Maybe she doesn't get enough exercise. When I come around she seems active. She waddles around the garden inspecting things. She shows off her swimming skills and splashes in her pool. However, I have caught her several times curled up sleeping in the shade when she thinks I am not watching. Maybe she's just too lazy to fly.

What is week 39 for me? We have established that I am not capable of flying.

Well last weekend was HOT. The pool water was HOT. I was just a bit cranky as I was sweating sitting in front of a fan. felt a bit like sloth, singing "stand by your fan" I termed myself an Oompa Loompa .

Sadly, after reviewing the picture I realize Oompa Loompa's despite having a horrid BMI our much smaller than me. I more like a whale, but not a beached one, but an efficient sea creature.

Numbers don't lie. At 38 weeks 5 days I swam this week's test set at masters swim faster than prior weeks and probably  faster than I ever have before. Disclaimer: I never swam this much when I was capable of riding my bike 200 miles/week.  400M, 200M,100M freestyle on 7:19, 3:29, 1:38 respectively and respectfully. This is meters not yards and meters are longer. I post this here so in future I will hold myself to these times.

I think this is a testament to gaining swim efficiency, perhaps improving stroke form, and not loosing too much fitness. Disclaimer: I am now on maternity leave so I have more time. I have never swam so consistently as the past 6 months. At some point in life we all take a deep breath and say to our self or someone else "just do what you can". Now I can utter those words with a bit of validation. I'll remember I did what I could and had a bit of success. It's nice when the numbers on the time clock validate your effort. Especially when the numbers on the scale have no place to go but up :)

Side note: Now that I have just been Holly high on myself and Polly Positive I must admit that the pressure of beating the preceding weeks times has become too great ,compounded by the  scheduled switch to short course which means double the flip turns. The test set changes each month and I might not like the September test set.  Rumor has it to be 8*100 yds. This calculates to 23 darn flip turns with half the time for recovery as long course. It's really easy to goof up a flip turn when you have managed to contain most 39 weeks of gestational growth within your 5'3 torso yeah there is a bit more padding in my butt, thighs, arms, chest and face. but shhhh!!!! It's a secret. Anyway a goofed up flip turn can cost a lot of time.  If I don't have the confidence I can swim 100   yrds faster than 100m then I am going to come up with a good excuse to miss test day. For example, I will have a baby on  or prior to next Wednesday's test set and nobody will guess I just didn't want to be timed doing 23 flip turns.

Family heirlooms: Rocking chairs and bassinet. Tim's guitar for lullaby's and a soft, fluffy rug.

You could say I am nesting. I've spent a great deal of time going to Target, organizing, cleaning, arranging and rearranging the nursery, because I can never get things right the first time. Case in point suspending this bike from the ceiling was no easy task. Having my child drift off to sleep with sweet dreams of riding a pink bike is very important.

Note:This bike is not suspended above baby's bed in case of earthquake.

Yesterday, I spent a freakish amount of time and energy going to Target, Henry's, vacuuming, mopping and organizing only to mess up the mopping and eat half the produce today. I organized baby clothing not just by size on the label but actual size. It turns out baby brands participate in psychological sizing too. Anyway, this over the top behavior made me think the baby might actually be coming sooner vs. later and I worked like a woman trying to meet a qualifying time or somebody trying to finish Ironman with no glow sticks when the sun was setting. They say it's hormonal which is true. I also would say that when you are one week from D-day, there's a bit of rationale FEAR that kicks you in the pants. Hello! Does anybody really want to figure out being a first time parent and deal anything else? Seriously, who in their right mind wants to return home with a new baby to a messy home with no food, especially when you know you'll have guests? Seriously is anybody that stupid. I mean it 's different if you are 30 weeks and I know it may seem pregnancy could last forever, but to record PREGNANCY HAS NEVER LASTED FOREVER. At week 39, hormones or common sense?

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You are an ICU nurse when you feel compelled to label things just like IV tubing.