Week 32: Make A Splash!

Apparently this morning I caused quite a splash. Before I start this story I want to state I am not at all wounded or offended by this experience. Quite the opposite, I am grateful for the good laugh. This morning I went to swim like I usually do unless I am working a 12 hour shift or for some reason (laziness) decided to run first and go to noon swim. I am not the only pregnant women at UCSD masters. We all know who is pregnant as at some point it becomes obvious, but also there is usually an announcement from the coach as he tries to participate in the naming of the child. For example Dolphina has been suggested for Baby Neuschwander.

In fairness, Friday's are a bit atypical as Lane 1 is closed for private lessons. The lane assignment usually goes from fast to slow, east to west. On Friday, the lane assignment is reversed. Anyway, of late I usually swim in the second to slowest lane. However, today that lane was full of the people I swam the same pace as 32 weeks ago so I swam in the slowest lane. I am not a fast swimmer, have never been. Not to pull excuses but now is my chance. I have short arms, ostrigoneums (extra bones in the ankle joint) and general lack of skill, talent, and aptitude in water (not snow) sports. Oh and currently I carry around an extra passenger and all her luggage (placenta, amniotic fluid, yada yada) I am full of excuses. Knowing I am not the fastest fish in the sea I try not to slow anybody down.

 This morning there were 3 people in my lane. It's long course masters. That's 3 people sharing 100 meters.  I usually offer to go last and only on rare occasions, as in my lane mate is wearing fins and swimming freestyle while we are assigned backstroke, do I get lapped. This morning one of my lane mates accepted the lead position and the other insisted on going last. She said she was slow, and tired. She insisted I take the middle spot. The lane leader was clearly confused on the set, and was doing the wrong stroke at the wrong time. It didn't matter to me as I was not colliding with him and the girl behind me was falling further behind. Soon she was gone. I didn't think anything of it. People change lanes and leave early quietly all the time.

This time apparently it wasn't so quiet, as witnessed by good friend Julie. Apparently, my being 32 weeks pregnant startled this woman. Ok, I admit sometimes my abdomen startles me. She swam into the lane that would normally be one slower, except we were the slowest lane.  The lane she swam into was closed for private lessons. It was announced no less than 10 times. She began backstroking down the middle of the lane. She collided with the student in private lessons. The coach announced yet again the lane was closed except for those in private lessons. she needed to move over a lane. She yelled "There is a pregnant woman in my lane!" I believe his response was "Yes, we do let them swim" or something along those lines. 

In all fairness there are a lot of pregnant women right now, in general and at Masters. I can think of two other pregnant swimmers at Masters (one is 38.5 weeks and came to Masters later that morning), plus two just had babies. Maybe she thought preganancy was contagious. People do say it's "in the water". However, in southern California most of us are educated and a bit more advanced then that type of thinking. She might want to educate herself and act more appropriately. . Secretly I hope she doesn't. I get a kick out of people who make fools of themselves like that, Bad me!

Petunia made a splash this week too nealry drowning in her water cup. Good thing Tim and I were able to warm her with the hair dryer. Another harrowing brush with death for Petunia. Parenting a duck is tough.


SSB said...

awesome story! i swim masters with a woman who's 35 weeks pregnant. Every once in a while she pushes it for about 50M. And man can she still swim!

So do the extra bones really make you slow? I have those bones too. I guess they make my ankles less flexible (and hurt when I wear fins). Thanks, I now have a new excuse!

Jennifer Yake Neuschwander said...

@SSB....well I was hoping the extra bones were my problem. You are awfully fast though so maybe not. However, maybe you'd be faster than Michael Phelps if not for those extra ankle bones. I'm going with that.

elizabeth said...

Coach Sickie is hilarious and I giggled out loud upon reading he wanted to name baby N... Dolphina! I also didn't realize UCSD was in the rural south. How do people like that make it through life in a place like San Diego?