Monday, I was still tired. Perhaps my ego was a bit battered after having such a hard time doing something that I wanted to be easy Sunday. I still felt tired but it was time to run 4 measly little miles. There were no excuses to be had. I got off work on time, which is rare. I wasn't too excited as I wanted to run with some spring in my step. I doubted that would happen. I sort of wanted to sit around singing to my legs " Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I guess I'll just eat worms."
That was about how I felt towards my legs. The maturity of an 8 year old is strikes when I am tired.
I must have had work on my brain as I remembered a patient. The patient would fuss and cry each day when the nurses would try to help her out of bed. She would fuss and create such a rucuss the nurses would cave in and put her back to bed. This cycle went on for days, nobody quite sure how to handle it. Medications were changed, psych evals were done. You name it. Then a nurse who had been off for a while came in and said cooly "Cry if you want to but you are still getting up." Guess what, that patient got up.
I remembered that so on went my running shoes (and I swear my legs were crying and I sneered at them "cry if you want to you are still going to run). I headed out the door with less than a stellar attitude. Thankfully it soon faded away. I do confess to engaging in running retail therapy. This although pathetic, is done by running through the brightly lit streets of La Jolla and gazing into store windows. All the best stores are there: "Title 9, the Gap, Banana Republic, Lulu (whose vibrant colors can't help to give one energy)". Somehow in the midst of my run I forgot about how tired my legs were. I started to think about all the good in my life and there is a lot of it.
There are only 8 weeks left to my 2009 season. After that it will be in the books (or my blog as I'm not quite enough of a deal to be in a book). I know I won't be in this space, where training and racing exist, forever. I'll forget about that wreck of a long run (despite there being witnesses). I'll forget how slow I felt tonight but I'll never forget that I actually got out there and did it when I had the chance ( even if I had to sink really low and sing to my legs about eating worms).
Tuesday, I woke up. It was a miracle. My legs were no longer tired. Somehow, I had fresh legs again. I managed to make it into the pool at 6 a.m. I was lucky enough to have a tail wind home from my ride. That evening, I pulled the new shoes I had been saving out of the box. During my evening run with Tim my legs were dancing. I am not sure how all this works because it seems my legs should have been tired by this point. It was as if they had springs. Tim is good company but I think my new shoes are magic. Harry Potter style shoes.
Later in the week I rode in East County. It was hot and we rode about 100 miles in 100 degree heat. We even saw smoke from the fires south of the border. It was Elizabeth's last long ride before Kona. That really helped keep things in perspective. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by.
100 mountainous miles in 100 + degrees is hot and tiring. I think we all have moments in those rides or thinking about them that make us unsure weather to laugh or cry. Lucky for me, so far this year I have only been reduced to laughter and there are only 8 weeks left of "training".
Knowing this is my choice, my option, and mostly my privilege has made my Carbo Pro and energy gels easier to swallow.
Some of my friends/training partners are pretty much done for the season. On to the recovery stages. Tim is doing specialty training for the marathon. I'm responsible for his suffering in that arena. So now is my test: to stay committed when others are not available to train/play with me. It's only a few weeks and they'll be gone in a hurry.
Santa Ana winds and heat on the Great Western Loop. Smoke in the distance.
Friday was my test. Just how committed was I? I said I would miss the training and needed to stay committed so here was my challenge. A swim, bike, and run the day after 100 miles in 100 degrees. Also no time to mess around as we had a flight to catch that evening.I wasn't quite sure how I would manage everything but I was not willing to give up on any. They were all good things. I was super excited as Tim and I were heading to Sedona for a friends wedding and to celebrate our 1 year anniversary this weekend. I didn't have anytime to dilly dally and accomplish my goals so I basically just got up and rolled. "Don't think. Just do" was my internal monologue.
Somehow I got lucky and the most amazing fog rolled in. It kept the temperature down and created this eerie appearance. I alternated climbing above the fog and descending into it. Very cool.
I couldn't help but stop for a quick pic. I managed to accomplish all training. More importantly I made it on time to the airport with all the essentials packed.