Autumn 2018

So many great things make up fall.

At least I believe they are great things. 

Maybe not all involved agree. Maybe somebody is just darn tired of being asked if he has a Target Red Card.  If not why he "doesn't he want to save 3%? Today?"Truth: I'd pay 4% more if you'd quit asking!

Fall is about flannel shirts, cowboy boots, kittens, and snakes? Yes snakes!

For the record ...my father taught me never to be afraid of a garter snake and to pick them up by the neck. While I applaud Annika's courage, she is not executing proper snake handling technique. Annika's Father told her it was ok to hold the snake by the tail. As a native of Northern California what does he really know about snakes? Last I knew the only snakes he had slithering around his back yard were rattlesnakes. I doubt he and his friends went about catching them and building condominiums for snakes and frogs. Did they? It wasn't until years after the fact I found out my friend Kristi's mother was letting the snakes out of their condominiums. I'm still a little offended. Those were not low income apartments we built. They were luxury condominiums.

Annika would really rather have a kitten. Poor kid. She gets to keep neither the horse, the kitten , nor the snake.

At least she has plenty to keep her busy and entertained. College hockey games and meeting Wildcat Willie are always a hit.

Isaac still likes to be pushed around town in his Chariot  for Wednesday's infamous Muffin Run. Someday both of my kids will be in school and after the run I might actually be able to eat a muffin. Actually I lied when both of my kids are in school after the Muffin Run I'll likely run another lap or ride my bike, or go to yoga, or nordic ski, or clean my house when both kids are in school.....No actually that would be a lie. I won't clean my house who am I kidding. 

Annika stayed true to her furry animal theme. If you are going to trick or treat in the U.P. don't be a fool and pick a warm costume. 

 
Isaac wanted to be Isaac for Halloween. He ended up wearing several different recycled/reused costumes for multiple events. Halloween is a season of events now. I mean a full month of it.

 I like the costumes....but can we just stop giving kids sticky shi* with sugar and dye? Every fall goes something like this . Take Annika to her well child. Spend most of the appointment talking about avoiding food bad for teeth and eating healthy food. Listen to why parent should never bribe kids with food. Then I spend the entire next month being bombarded with teeth rotting diabetes causing candy. One evening of candy is enough.

   Schools do not need to dismiss at 10:40 a.m. on Halloween. Especially since multiple school and community Halloween parties have taken place every weekend in October. Although it is kind, teachers do not need to send home students with candy. Although it is kind, the library does not need to give out candy on Halloween day.  Enough of candy.  I get it. Kids love candy and they need to be kids. However it's a special kind of Hell parents live through when children manage to produce a previously unknown goodie bag during the car ride home from a community party. Almost always it is filled with a mixture of toxic plastic toys from the dollar store and candy. The toys are usually a combination of the following: some sort of a sticky slime, a bouncy ball about the right size to lodge in an airway of a kid old enough to know better but drunk on sugar and dye, something made of plastic that makes noise a lot of it. There is also sticky candy. The bummer about this candy is it's not only bad for the teeth but it tastes bad too. As a parent who may have to confiscate said candy it is not worth eating. Often it is so crappy and the kids are so overdone the said candy gets spat out into family vehicle. For the sake of this blog we can assume family vehicle is a mini van. Remnants are found for months. Of course one wouldn't knowingly allow their children to open said goodie bags unsupervised. It always works that children get more goodie bags than one parent is aware of.  I get it I have handed out sweets and treats at a party. It is so fun to give. It just feels good to be generous. When one solo parents at a Halloween party said goodie bag is likely to be produced while Solo Parent driving home. Solo parent will likely be navigating a round about with high volumes of traffic.The noise makers will be found and utilized . The bouncy ball will hopefully be dropped and lost even if it means tears. There will be tears. There are always tears after a big party with one parent and lots of music and sugar.  Upon arrival home Solo Parent will perform damage control cleaning operations. Solo Parent will hope noise makers break soon before she smashes them. The noise makers will not break. There will be one really cool toy in the goodie bag. It won't actually be that cool because it will be a knock off. It will be made really, really cheaply. It will break. There will be tears. Solo Parent will stop wiping sticky spots to wipe tears. Some sticky spots will be forgotten until the next day. Pressed Shirt Partner Parent will note the sticky spots upon loading clean and polished children in mini van for church. Pressed Shirt Partner will comment that Solo Halloween Party Parent should not allow children to eat in mini -van. Pressed Shirt Partner Parent will comment how no food is allowed to be consumed in Pressed Shirt Partner's self driving Tesla.

 Homemade masks rock.  They are sticky but chipmunks and raccoons are pretty cute.

 Racoons and puppy dogs are cute too.

 Elmo is pretty lovable. It's a bit harder to get stuck hard candy out of Elmo's fur. Seriously do kids just lick and stick Dum Dum suckers on purpose? Is that a new trend?

Well never a dull moment!

Happy Fall!